Twilight

Ok.

So I've been reading the book Twilight this week, and I've used almost every waking moment to read it. I wouldn't of said that I was addicted, but I started watching a trailer for the movie and I had to stop it because the trailer was showing more than I had read.

I don't know if I'm addicted because its popular to be addicted to the book right now, or if its because the writing is so good. I tend to lost track of time when I'm reading the book. I would say everyone should read it, but I'm not done yet... I'll let you know what I think at the end.

This week has been good. Exhausting, but good. Wednesday was probably the most challenging day I've had so far. I had regular class, 2 rehearsals which were extremely hard and a lot of choreography, and I took a contact improv class. For those of you who don't know, its a class where you improv your dance moves, but your dancing with a partner. You have to learn how to respond to the way your partner touches you and how to move together.... it was very challenging. It showed me how much of a selfish dancer I am... it was hard to learn to respond to another persons dance moves and think more as a unit than one dancer. I loved the class and hated it at the same time. I think I should go back... yet, I dread the thought of going back. I felt like I did a horrible job, but I think its good to be pushed and stretched.

I just want to throw a shout out to all my wonderful friends who let me stay with them and shower at their house/ dorm ;-) Because of gas, I decided to hang out in downtown for 3 days instead of driving home every night. My friends allowed me to crash at their places and I am extremely grateful!

My family is so awesome too! Everytime I come home they get so excited to see me. I love spending time with my family even though its down to a minimum right now. Its so strange because I see my family less now that I live at home, than I did when I was in college last year. Such is life I guess!!

This week has been great! Moment of honesty: I've been slacking on my devotions this week, and its encouraging (in a sad way) that I miss my time with Jesus... Sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions, but I miss the deep time... more than just a few minutes with my Savior.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!! Me, I'm going to dance my heart out then hang with my small group girls on Sunday!

Love,
Raye Raye ;-)

Raye Raye's Retroactive Review of the Week :)

So yeah, the word Retroactive just popped into my head, and I decided to use it... I generally tend to use the same words over and over, so when I get a new word in my head, I like to use it.

This week has been good...tiring. I found out this week that Vanderbilt is not going to do their certificate program this year. They ended up not having enough applications to continue the program for this year, so now I tell people that I'm taking a year off of college to dance full time. Which I'm ok with. I am truly enjoying this journey.


So, all of Nashville (and probably Tennessee) is panicked over gas. There is none to be found after 12pm. People are waiting for an hour and a half to get gas because it is so scarce. And of course places are price gouging. I think its pathetic, if people didn't panic we probably would have enough gas... the only problem is, now I'm low on gas, so I'll have to join the race to the pump. I really just want enough gas to get me until Thursday or Friday when I get paid.

I'm going to shove off. I have to get ready for church tomorrow, so this is a really random blog.
I hope you all had a wonderful week, and have enough gas to get you through the weekend :-)

Sunny with a High of 75 :)

As I opened my window to write this blog the song "High of 75" by Relient K came on... I love that song. It always puts me in a good mood, and it happens to match my mood at the moment.

This week has been good. I'm am completely and utterly exhausted, but I a loving every moment of the journey. Dance has been good. I was really nervous, but extremely excited for the first class. The classes are pushing me to the limit and kicking my butt. But it is a good thing. The teachers are really encouraging. I have a lot of work to do, and once I lose weight it will make the dancing a little easier, but for now I'm doing my best and working my hardest.

Ragtime rehearsals are going well. Stretching me mentally, the choreography for the show in intense and super hard and the choreographer goes so fast when she teaches the moves... its been good though.

The only downside to my life right now is the fact that I don't get to see my family very much. I live at home, yet I leave before my family is up, and get home after my family goes to bed. Its gotten to the point that when I do come home in the middle of the day my sisters ask, "Raychel, are you staying or going again?" Its slightly heart-breaking, but I'm enjoying staying busy.

At the moment I am looking for a good Bible study. I've done the 'reading the Bible' thing... but I want a commentary of sorts, something to challenge me to think farther and deeper than I normally would. I just got done reading Psalms, Proverbs and Ecclesiastics. But now I'm ready for something else... If you have any suggestions let me know. I was kind of thinking of a Beth Moore Bible study. But I don't know... we'll see.


I hope you all are doing well!

Now on to work!
~Raye~

Update

Wazzup Fellow Bloggers!

I know I've been a while... things have been crazy around here. I've made some pretty crazy decisions in the past month.

Long story short... I've decided to withdraw from Belmont and pursue what I am truly passionate about. Therefore I am going to be dancing full time at Vanderbilt University. I will be dancing full time and taking lecture classes on dance, and I will come out with a certificate in dance from Vandy in May. I am SO excited! The first class went well, I have a lot to do to get back into shape, but I am so excited to see what God has in store for me this next year.

Not only do I get to dance, but I'm doing the musical "Ragtime" with Belmont! Ragtime is one of my favorite musicals, and God was so go to allow me to audition and get into this musical. Musicals are very hard to get into if you're a student at Belmont because there are so many musical theater students, and its not allowed if you're not a student at Belmont. But because Belmont needed more African-American people for the musical, they allowed outside people to audition. Hence, I get to be in one of my favorite musicals with most of my college friends, and I don't go to school there anymore. God is SO good!

I am also leading a small group of 9th grade girls with 2 other women from my church. There are about 18 girls in our group and they are all amazing and so unique. I look forward to being with them the next 4 years!
I also teach 2 modern classes a week, and work at Chick-fil-a.

Needless to say, I am extremely busy, but I am LOVING IT!!

I hope you all are doing well!
God Bless,
Raychel


p.s.
I still haven't forgotten that I need to write a blog about the Haygoods ;-)

(the pic is me and my Belmont friends during our church's Amazing Race)

My Interest

So, this summer I've been pretty bored, so I've used my extra time to develop my devotion to 2 groups. First group, The Haygoods, a family of 8 kids from Branson. I've always liked them, they have the life I wish I had. I will devote a blog to them later.
The second group, is the Jonas Brothers.

I know, I know. I'm 19. What of it? I never used to be into boy bands. I missed the whole Backstreet Boys and N'Sync phase. So I'm making up for lost time.

I really like the JoBros... My family says I'm obsessed. I don't think so, I mean. I don't have any posters or anything like that (ok, so I have the People Magazine devoted only to them, but thats it)I know their
not the best of singers, but they grow on you once you listen to them.
I really like their songs, because there is nothing dirty or questionable about their lyrics. Also, the fact that they write their own songs is amazing to me. I really respect the fact that they are Christians and aren't afraid to say so. And they also openly wear and talk about their purity rings. I really respect them for their choice to wear rings and not be afraid to talk about it. They also seem to be very family oriented people, and being a family oriented person myself, I really like that.

So there... I have written a blog about my Jonas Love. I don't claim a favorite brother... I really don't care. I would marry any of them ;-)



I hope y'all have a great day!
~Raye~

Update... its been a while

I know its been a while. I've been a hole. I'm trying to get back into the world of communicating with people.
Summer is always an interesting time. It seems to be the making or breaking point for a lot of things. Also, things just seem to get clearer for me in the summer time. I always seem to reevaluate my life during the summer. Hold on... I'm not saying what I want... Lets start at the beginning.

During the Fall Semester of school, things were really rough. I had a good time, but I got really shy and I didn't make very many friends, which for me is very unusual. I got really depressed and just was really hard on myself. I felt like I wasn't a good Christian, friend, or daughter. Needless to say, I began to hate school and my parents forced me to go back for the Spring Semester. They told me to finish at least one year of school.

The Spring Semester was like a complete 180. I was involved in a play and I actually spent time with people. I began to enjoy myself and loved the people and the college I was at. But even though things on the surface were good, deep down I was still depressed and listening to the lie of the enemy.

See, one of my biggest pet peeves is honesty. A lot of times I can tell when people aren't telling me the truth, and it annoys me to no end. I would rather people be honest with me and allow me to react in my own way, rather than them "shielding me" or just being too scared to tell me the truth. Well, the enemy knows my love for honesty, and he began to feed me all kinds of lies. He began to tell me how much of a hypocrite I am, and how I talk like a Christian, but I don't really mean any of the things I say. I began to believe that I didn't deserve the friends I had and that all my life I would be nothing but a lieing hypocrite. I began to try and make up rules on how to be more spiritual,and I would beat myself up whenever I didn't follow those rules. All the time I would pray for Jesus to give me a passion for Him, and show me how to live for Him. Throughout the semester I began to feel like Jesus wasn't answering that prayer, and that eventually lead to my belief that God doesn't always answer prayers.
I knew God loved me, but I started to believe that He didn't care about me. That He was leaving me to fend for myself until I got myself together, yet I knew I couldn't get myself together without His help.
Needless to say, it was a downward spiral.

Let me pause to say, if you are feeling this way right now. That God doesn't care, or that you are a worthless Christian. Let me tell you "THAT IS A LIE FROM THE DEVIL" and I know exactly how you feel. Continue to read.

At the beginning of summer I had the privilege to go to a New Attitude conference in Louisville, KY. I tell you, God knows exactly what you need. I was very much encouraged. I began to realize all the lies I had allowed myself to believe, and that Jesus is there and He does care about me. It has not been easy. A couple of things I learned is that I need to memorize scripture. One of the speakers C.J. Mahaney, mentioned that we need to talk to ourselves instead of listening to ourselves. The best way to remember God's promises is if you have them memorized. Another thing I realized, is that I am saved through GRACE, not works, and not feelings. Too many times I rely on my feelings or my works to bring me closer to God. Grace is what God gives to all of us. No matter how many times we mess up, or think there is something we have to do, God is there with arms open wide waiting for us to realize that apart from Him we can do NOTHING! I imagine Him smiling and laughing as a father would at a child who is trying to do something on their own, when it is completely out of the child's power to do anything.

But I realized that although we are saved through grace, we are required to fight for a relationship with God. Just like how you must fight to set aside time for people in your life you have a relationship with, so I must do with God. So what does fighting for a relationship look like for me? Getting up before my family starts stirring to spend time with God. And I am continually learning about grace. The fact that if I don't read my bible every day, that God is not upset or disappointed in me.

Jesus is teaching me and growing me everyday. I am grateful for the people and family He has placed in my life. But moreover I am grateful for His grace and love and patience and just overall amazingness.

Remember. Jesus is there, even when you don't feel Him. When you think you've gone too far, He's there with arms open wide and a smile, just waiting for His child to grab His hand.

Love!

My Personality?

So I took the Myers-Brigg test, and this is what it said. I'm not sure if its all that true about me...

I am: ESFJ

You are:

* very expressed extravert
* slightly expressed sensing personality
* distinctively expressed feeling personality
* slightly expressed judging personality

Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.

All else being equal, ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. ESFJs, as do most SJs, bear strong allegiance to rights of seniority. They willingly provide service (which embodies life's meaning) and expect the same from others.

ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves," often exuding warmth and bonhomie, but not infrequently boiling over with the vexation of their souls. Some ESFJs channel these vibrant emotions into moving dramatic performances on stage and screen.

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.

As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around--germs within, the elements without, unscrupulous malefactors, insidious character flaws. The world is a dangerous place, not to be trusted. Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.