What do roses, hearts, chocolate, and a four-letter word have in common? They’re all items used to celebrate the momentous holiday that is fast approaching us. Never have I met a holiday that evokes so many diverse emotions. I know people who LOVE Valentine’s Day, it the one holiday they look forward to the most. On the other end of the spectrum I know people who loathe Valentine’s Day; it is just a day that reminds them how single and un-loveable they are. Others think Valentine’s Day was created to elevate one’s stress level with all the worrying about getting the perfect gift. Some people forget about Valentine’s day, so for them, its just another occasion for their significant other to get upset with them.
But all of this emotion begs the question, what is Valentines’ Day? Why all the big fuss? According to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary a Valentine is either “a sweetheart chosen or complimented on Valentine’s Day, or a gift or greeting sent or given especially to a sweetheart on Valentine’s Day, or something (as a movie or piece of writing) expressing uncritical praise or affection.”
I made a feeble attempt to look up the tradition of Valentine’s Day, but when I discovered the Wikipedia entry was over 4 pages long, I decided it wasn’t that important. I could harp on how society has turned a day about love into an opportunity to make more money, but that is what our society does. Get over it. But rather I’d like to address the issue near and dear to my heart: being single on Valentine’s Day. As a disclaimer these are my own feelings and musings expressed, and mainly I am asking questions in hopes that someone out there will identify with me.
I would like to start by saying what this blog is not. It is not an opportunity for me to gripe and say “woe is me”, nor am I trying to get a sympathy date. Rather, I am hoping to encourage my fellow siblings in Christ in validating their feelings and combating them with the truth of God’s Word.
I remember the first time I became aware of the fact that I didn’t have a “valentine”. It was during my freshman year of college. Suddenly all the girls I knew were stressing out over who would be their valentine that year. I am ashamed to admit that I was semi-caught up in that, mentally appraising boys, trying to “feel out the relationships”, and becoming more and more depressed the closer the day approached without a man in sight. After that year I decided to stop stressing about it. I must say, I have spent the past 21 years without a valentine (if you don’t count my family, that is), and I have enjoyed each one better than the last.
This year, however, I began to ponder what it means to be single. The more I enjoy my single life I begin to understand why Paul encouraged us to stay this way. While I do hope that this gift of singleness is only for a season, I continually am asking myself, why would Paul say that it is better to be single? First of all I have to remind myself, that while prompted by the Holy Spirit, this is Paul’s opinion about being single. But you have to admit, his reasons are good. He says that the appointed time is short and we are to live for Christ. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 says, “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” How can you argue with that reasoning? Yet while I wholeheartedly agree with Paul, my emotions and desires are saying something different, and a little holiday called Valentine’s Day does not help that situation.
So for those of you who are pining for a valentine of epic proportion, let me encourage you. We have been giving the best Valentine of all! Valentine’s Day is all about love, right? Well, we have the best love of all. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends.” If that’s the case than Jesus is the greatest love because he laid down His life for you and for me. His love is unconditional. He will never leave us, nor forsake us (Duet. 31:6,8; Heb. 13:5). His perfect love cast out all fear (1 John 4:18), so we don’t have to fear Him leaving us, hating us, getting annoyed with our imperfections, or hurting us in any way. His love is ultimate, and therefore we can hold our heads up high because we have the best love of all.
I know some of you are thinking that this is all well and good, but sometimes you want a tangible representation of love. Something/someone that you can hold, hug, and hear actual words from. Let me tell you, I’ve been there and I am there a lot. Something the Lord is teaching me, is to see Him in the little things. The Lord uses His people as a tangible representation of Himself. There are times when I get a hug from a friend, a smile, or encouraging word and I see the Lord in it. This did not just happen. It was a process of me asking the Lord to reveal Himself to me thru His people, and I still have to fight the voice in my head that likes to remind me that a person said something nice, not the Lord thru that person. Let me encourage you to do this, and even in your loneliest moments when you think that being single is a curse and Paul was smoking something when he wrote the verses in 1 Corinthians, you’ll begin to feel the love of the Lord surround you, and you’ll find your lonely moments becoming less and less.
I don’t know if any of this made any sense, or if you even care about what I said. But I would like to say that even if no one in the world loves you. You have a Man who loved you SO much He was willing to give up everything for you. So on this Valentine’s Day don’t get S.A.D (Singles Awareness Day), get L.O.V.E. (Loving Our Valentines Eternally) (I don’t know, I made that up on the spot).
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!!
